


The Why

by aces_low



Series: drabbles and ish [4]
Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Mild Language, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 04:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9055267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aces_low/pseuds/aces_low
Summary: Five times Ryan and Miguel demonstrated their love for each other without saying it out loud, and one time they did.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a prompt of '5 times Ryan and Miguel almost kissed and 1 time they did OR 5 times Ryan and Miguel demonstrated their love for each other without actually telling it out loud and the 1 time they finally voiced it'
> 
> So I sort of combined them.
> 
> This is my first time writing for this fandom so it's still pretty shaky, hope I didn't butcher them too much.
> 
> None of these characters belong to me

one.

The only reason Ryan agrees to let his blood be used for Rivera’s transfusion is so he can get Cyril into Em City. 

If the idea of what might happen to Alvarez if Rivera were to die – and the state is really itching to show off their capital punishment privileges – passes through his mind as he gets his blood drawn, well, it’s nothing more than that, a thought. 

Because Miguel Alvarez doesn’t mean anything to Ryan, he’s not even sure why he’s thinking about him, sitting in solitary, probably for the rest of his life. Still, when they tell him that the hack is going to live, he lets out a small sigh of relief. 

 

two.

Miguel is nice to Cyril. Not just in the way that most of the other prisoners don’t fuck with him because they don’t want to be killed, or the way the rest just kind of tolerate him because they don’t want to be on Ryan’s bad side. Miguel teaches Cyril simple Spanish words and songs. He gives him little trinkets as gifts that anyone else would throw away immediately, but Cyril’s eyes light up whenever Miguel offers him another small present. Ryan had been suspicious of the Latino the first few times he had asked after Cyril, but eventually came to realize that Miguel is actually concerned about Ryan’s brother, that he actually cares. 

By the time Suzanne comes to Oz, the idea that Miguel is going to be spending hours a day with her doesn’t bother Ryan at all, in fact, it makes him a little relieved. He knows that Miguel will keep her safe, will give a damn about Ryan’s mother, the same way he gives a damn about his brother. He doesn’t know why Alvarez cares, but it’s nice knowing someone does.

 

three.

Ryan has been moving slower lately, his mind hasn’t been as sharp as it once was. Everything had come down on him one at a time until he felt like he was drowning. First, Cyril’s execution, then having to be moved out of Oz and trying to get a foothold in the drug trade at their new prison, as soon as he had started to feel stable again Seamus died and then Gloria moved away. So, it took him longer than it should have to realize that Torquemada needed to go. Not just because the guy was becoming the biggest player in the drug trade with his D-tabs, but because of whatever he's been doing to Miguel. 

When Ryan had finally ran across him and couldn’t even get his attention, he could see it in his eyes, his body language, Torquemada was sucking out Miguel’s soul.

So, Ryan got back into what he does best, plotting, planning, having other people do his dirty work for him. 

He feels it in the air when the day comes, the buzz humming around the gymnasium, the calm before the storm. Seeing the group of homeboys from another unit walking into the gym is all he needs to get himself moving. As he approaches Torquemada and his crew, he reaches out his arm and grabs Alvarez from the middle of the group. In one fluid motion, he pulls Miguel along with him as he keeps walking, the movement startling Miguel enough that he lets himself be pulled for a few moments, while Torquemada doesn’t have enough time to react before he’s facing the bigger threat. A gang who believe it was their idea to get rid of Torquemada, and not Ryan whispering in their ears.

Miguel seems to realize what is about to happen and acts as though he wants to go back, to help Torquemada, but Ryan grips him tighter and keeps walking until they’re partially obscured by the stairs. He pushes Miguel against the far wall as the sounds of the fight reach their ears. Miguel pushes forward, like he still wants to go back and save his captor. But Ryan puts a hand on his shoulder, holding him in place.

Even with the drugged haze around his eyes Miguel still is aware enough to search Ryan’s. His deep, dark eyes see not only what Ryan has done, but why he’s done it. Like he knows that this isn’t about drugs at all, not this time. Ryan feels exposed, but doesn’t look away. They don’t talk, or move, just stare until the sounds of the fight being broken up reach them.

Ryan walks away then, back to his own corner of the prison, back to his own concerns. Miguel is safe now.

 

four.

When they get back to Em City, Ryan feels sick standing in his pod. All the memories of Cyril are with him here, as well as Meehan and his death. He doesn’t even have time to put his things down or let out a stuttered breath when Murphy shows up and tells him that they’re moving him, already.

He doesn’t answer any of Ryan’s questions as he leads him up and into Alvarez’s pod. Alvarez who smirks and leans back in his bed, watching as Ryan puts his things away. Finally, after he’s made his bed he turns to look at Alvarez, who hasn’t taken his eyes off of him the whole time, and asks him what is going on. Alvarez just shrugs, says he called in a favor with McManus. The implied why in Ryan’s question goes unanswered, but he thinks he knows anyway.

 

five.

Ryan has never had a problem getting around these pods with another person in them quite like he does now. It’s no smaller or bigger than his last pod had been, and yet, he and Miguel seem to be unable to move around each other without light touches being exchanged. They’re all innocent - just brushes of skin, light hands on arms or backs as they switch spots at the sink or door - except that they don’t need to be happening at all. 

But Ryan can’t seem to stay a foot away from Miguel, when a half of one will do. And it’s not as though Miguel minds. In fact, when lights are out, he has a tendency to crowd himself into Ryan’s space, leading him to the corner of the pod between the bed and the wall. 

He never does more than stand close, hands hovering over his body, his lips and nose nothing more than ghosting along his neck, his jaw, his cheek. 

Ryan knows what Miguel wants, knows what Miguel is too afraid to ask for. Because it’s the same problem he is dealing with. What he wants to say to Miguel, to finally admit out loud, it’s something Miguel doesn’t believe in, told Ryan it doesn’t exist in Oz.

But it has to exist, because it’s the only explanation he has for any of this.

 

+1

It’s nearly lights out. Miguel has been dozing off in his bunk for the past few hours, now Ryan can feel his eyes on him as he brushes his teeth. It takes some restraint to not turn around and look at him.

“Ya know, I love you,” Miguel says, like he’s trying to sound casual, but there’s a hint of a challenge in his voice.

Ryan nearly chokes on his toothpaste. Not at the fact that Miguel loves him, he’s been sure of that for a while now, but the fact that he’s the first to say it. 

He turns around to stare at him, and Miguel stands up, like maybe he’s getting ready for Ryan to hit him. Which is ridiculous, because Miguel has to know, right?

They just look at each other for a minute, before Ryan has to quickly finish brushing his teeth. 

“I-“ he starts, turning back around, but cuts himself off when the lights go out.

He can still see Miguel, though the definition of his face is warped, and his eyes have been swallowed up in the darkness. But he’s able to reach out and lead Miguel into the corner, the way he’s done to Ryan for the past month.

Miguel’s breath hitches as Ryan moves into his space, his hands trail up his arms over his shoulders and rest on either side of his neck.

“Ryan,” Miguel breathes out, a question or an exaltation, he can’t be sure. 

He answers by capturing Miguel’s lips with his own, any feeling of hesitance erased the second they meet. Miguel recovers from the shock quickly and surges forward, wrapping his strong arms around him and deepening the kiss. Ryan should have guessed that Miguel would leave him breathless, and he has to break away sooner than he’d like. 

He rests his forehead against Miguel’s as he catches his breath.

“Me too,” he finally says, voice coming out softer than he’s comfortable with.

He can see Miguel’s cocky grin through the darkness before their lips meet again. Oblivious and unconcerned with the eyes that are probably watching them. They’ve been dancing around this for too long for anything else to matter anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always welcome. I accept prompts over on tumblr @aces-low


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